I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
