I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We just shotgunned beers for America
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
