The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize
