just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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