It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
