Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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