I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
