it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
