O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Randomize
