Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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