he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I need a beard to bite.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
