I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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