cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
