told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
