i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
