Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
