Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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