After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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