Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
my poor anus
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
