tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
