we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
