do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Come on in and take your pants off
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