she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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