And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I need moral support for this bender
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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