I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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