Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize