In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
