I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
