That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
