I'm going to jail i love you
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
