STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
