Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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