The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
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