***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
