He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
