Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
