i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Randomize
