I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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