the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Randomize
