i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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