I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
