Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
