laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
