I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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