I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
