Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
