Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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