I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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