thus making me awesome and them whores
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Found your dick twin last night
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
