woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
