"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
